Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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