I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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