I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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