Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
4 words: hood of his car
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
