She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
