This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
