I think im going to throw up on grandma
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
