It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
