after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
