ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
3 2 1 whiskey
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
