Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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