i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
