were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
