I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
