my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
