you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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