where am i from again
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
The feeling are messing with the penis
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
