We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
