Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
