im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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