i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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