I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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