No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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