i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
