Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
they're like a gay fantastic four
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So vagazzling was a success
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
