she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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