If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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