Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
