They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
