Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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