no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize