I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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