why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
