I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
