Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
