how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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