your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
And then he peed in my hair
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
