I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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