when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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