and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
