Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
