none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
