I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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