Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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