Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The power of my boobs compel you
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
