Are we in a gay sports bar?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
