Me. At least after what I've been through.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
