doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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