Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Someone signed my nipple.
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