Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
