Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
