Don't make out with my wife yet
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
