dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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