KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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