You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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