i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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