I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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