Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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