Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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